Just call me Kate, my agony started the day my friends in the
hostel realised I was still a virgin. Then I was 17 and in SS3. In
the hostel, I shared a room with three other girls and classmates
– Janet who normally called me K.T, Sandra, who called me Katty
and Linda.
“So what is the big deal?” I asked, knowing that there was no
reason they should be laughing at me.
“No big deal Katty, only that you are still a girl” Sandra said.
“And you are mummies, right?” I asked back.
“We are ladies” Linda said
“Congratulations ladies, keep on celebrating immorality,
obsession, fornication and adultery” I said proudly.
“I love Man U. KT will do a dictionary, I gbadun those terms”
Janet said
“Go on, we are enjoying it, we are celebrating nudity,
pornography, ejaculation, sexycology and ….” Linda said and
they all burst into laughter.
“I got angry, packed my books and moved out of the room.
“Are you angry Katty” Sandra said
“Hey, this girl!” Linda shouted after me.
“This virgin girl, your mummies are calling you” Linda continued,
then I was some distance from the room and everybody in the
hostel heard her. I ignored her and continued walking down
towards the exit of the hostel.
“Virgin Kate” Linda shouted again, everybody in the hostel now
focused attention on me. I got angry and returned to her
“Are you mad Linda? To fi maku to fi ma decay, to fi ma perish in
the hottest hell, never you use those words for me again, you let
everybody in the hostel be looking at me” I said
“Are you ashamed of being a virgin again? Sebi just now you said
you are celebrating holiness and righteousness” She replied and
everybody burst into laughter again
“K.T is celebrating virginity, but essh, don’t let anybody in the
hostel heard o” Janet whispered and everybody started laughing
again.
“ Don’t mind them Katty, We won’t shout again” Sandra said and
they all laughed.
I was confused, I hissed and walked out of the room. Sandra
followed me.
“Don’t mind Linda, she is too wild” Sandra said
“Not her fault, she is just a little girl” I replied
“ But she is experienced” Sandra said.
“Experienced in immorality” I replied.
“But joke apart, Katty, you need a guy” Sandra said in a friendly
tone.
“That is not what I come here to do”
“I agree, but everybody does it, why not you?
“Because, I am not everybody”
“ I rest my case” Sandra said and together we went to the school
library.
It was during the dinner that Janet started the issue again.
“Men! I can’t believe Jackson is dead” Sandra said as she
removed the ear-phone from her ears and settled down to her
food. She had apparently been listening to a song of Michael
Jackson’ her most favourite artiste.
“Leave Jackson in hell, what did you tell K.T when you followed
her out this morning?” Janet asked.
“She said Linda is young, but I said she is experienced” Sandra
replied.
“Who said I am young? Ogun go punish them, I am your mum”
Linda said harshly.
“Soponna go punish you too” I replied
“May thunder strike the mouth that says I am young, you better
come for lesson and let me take you there” Linda said.
“Take her where? Janet asked
“She knows, if she doesn’t come to us, she won’t get there” Linda
said
“You won’t get there too” I replied
“Come let me take you there or you will never get there”
“You will never get there” I said sharply
She laughed. “ I had been there since JS2, If you are not careful
you won’t be there till 40″
“You won’t be there till 50″ I said.
“She had been there since 12” Sandra said.
“If not 8” Janet said and everybody laughed.
“I know everything your mum knows” Linda said.
I got angry “Never you talk to my mum again, idiot” I said left the
table, packed my books and moved out.
“You don’t follow her” Janet said to Sandra.
My friends kept mounting pressure on me. At first I was strongly
determined not to succumb to their pressure. Later as the
pressure increased I decided to listen to Sandra’s advice.
“You don’t need to have sex with guys, but you can’t do without
them” Sandra has said that to me on many occasions.
“You can always keep a boyfriend and still maintain your
virginity”
“but it is not easy” I would tell her
“Not easy if you don’t know the logic” she would reply
“You can keep the logic” I would say again
In one of those days that we sat down at the back of the school
dormitory, reading under the street light, she had suddenly called
me.
“Katty! Should I introduce you to a friend?”
“Haven’t I got enough?” I asked back.
“I mean a friend you will always love to be with” Sandra said.
“Somebody not as troublesome as you are” I said
“Katty, I am serious, somebody that will touch your mind and
soul, somebody that you can always confide in, somebody that
you will remember and smile”
“Enough of these sweet words. Are boys that precious?” I asked
“They might not, but there is always one for every girl. If you
meet your soul mate, it is like you have met your saviour”
“That is interesting, and you have known my soul mate? I asked
her
“I am talking of a boy who is very handsome, brilliant, rich gentle,
friendly, charming …..”
“Hold it” I said “ If I don’t stop you I know you won’t stop, you
just want me to be like you, to loose my virginity at 15″ I said and
Sandra got angry.
“What is the meaning of that nonsense?” She asked angrily,
packed her books and started walking towards the hostel.
I knew I had wronged her. Sandra was my only true friend. I
knew she truly loved me and I didn’t want to offend her, so I
followed her.
“I am sorry Sandra” I said.
“Don’t worry” she said and continued walking without looking at
me.
“I am sorry, I am very sorry” I repeated.
“Indeed, I have heard you” she replied.
“So let’s go back and finish our discussion” I said
She stopped and looked at me. She thought for few seconds and
then slowly turned back. After we have settled down she broke
the silence.
“Listen Katty, I will introduce you to Floyd, just as a friend. If you
like him, go out with him, if you don’t just forget about it”
“Alright I think there is no harm in that, let me meet him first” I
said.
“But there was a lot of harm in that discussion, because since
that day, I started thinking about Floyd. I started imagining
myself going out with him. A handsome, brilliant, rich and caring
Floyd as Sandra has described him.
There was a day I slept and had a dream that Floyd was a
Governor’s son. So we were together in the State’s Secretariat,
he took me to different offices and we visited different
Commissioners, after that we went to the beach, he taught me
how to swim and I taught him how to skip the rope then I fell into
the sand of the beach. As I called him to lift me up, I woke up. I
just saw my roommates laughing. Linda and Janet were awake
reading in the room and when I shouted Floyd’s name in the
dream, I shouted it out to the real world and they all heard.
“You have been dreaming of a boy Kate” Linda said rather than
asking.
“Don’t mind her, K.T, tell me about Floyd, sebi he did that thing to
you?” Janet asked and the two of them laughed again.
I was ashamed and annoyed. I hissed.
“You better mind your own business” I said.
“And you are pretending as if you hate guys” Linda said.
“No, no, K.T hates real guys, but she loves the boys in the
dream” Janet said.
“So the name of your boyfriend is Floyd” Linda said again not
asking.
“No, oh! Floyd is not her boyfriend, he is her dream boy” Janet
replied her.
I decided not to answer them again and continued my sleep.
When I finally met Floyd, it was as if I had achieved the greatest
success of my life. Floyd did not come short of my expectation.
He was very handsome, more handsome than Sandra has
described him. He looked very neat and corporate and he spoke
very good and fluent English. He spoke very softly and I was sure
his voice would even be softer on phone, especially at night.
“Hi, my name is Floyd, I am sure I am talking with Kate” he said
“Sure” I replied.
“Your friend has told me a lot about you only that she didn’t tell
me you are this beautiful and I had for long been wishing to meet
you and now I will write today down in my diary and I am sure I
will celebrate it more than my birthday” he said
“Why?” I asked.
“Of course, the day you meet your angel should be the most
important day in your life”
From there we started a long discussion. We exchanged our
phone numbers and he promised to call me that night.
“Do you receive night calls?” he asked.
“I will receive yours” I replied.
That very night he called me.
“Hi, do you know why I woke you up?” he asked.
“Tell me, I might not know” I replied.
“Because, when we met in the morning there are some things I
didn’t tell you” he said,
“you forgot?” I asked
“No, but love sound cooler at night” he said.
“So what are those things?” I asked
“I didn’t tell you how beautiful you are, I didn’t tell you how crazy
I am going about you, I didn’t tell you I have never met anybody
that warmed my heart the way you did. Should l tell you now?”.
I allowed him to tell me, and he kept talking while I listened
almost throughout the night, I missed my sleep but I enjoyed my
conversation with him.
Floyd showed me the lover world. Though I stayed in the hostel
but my movement was not restricted. Every weekend we visited
many places. Many places I have never imagined exist. I met his
friends, they all liked me, and my friends too liked him and are
even jealous of me. He told me he was made for me and I for
him. He told me he knew everything about me. He said he could
distinguish my footsteps along the corridor from that of any
person, he could smell me if I am around without being told. He
said without being with me he knew what I would be doing, what
I would be thinking and where I could be. He told me I am his
strongest weapon and his most valuable asset.
One day when he made his usual night call I decided to test him.
“Floyd, you said you can always see me anytime you close your
eyes” I reminded him
“Yes can’t you see me too?” he asked.
“Now close your eyes and tell me what I am doing now”
“Of course you are making call. You are talking with your
boyfriend, I mean your best friend, that is, your soul mate, your
God-sent, your angel.” he replied.
I smiled. Anybody would say that.
“Before I started making the call what did I do last?”
“Sure, you were sleeping. You have certainly eaten your dinner,
read your books for a while and slept before I woke you up.” he
got it, but they were mere facts of common sense.
“So what did I eat as dinner and which book did I read before
sleeping.”
“Today is Tuesday, your dinner is rice and beans with plantain,
and you love solving mathematics before sleeping”.
He got the two but I remembered I have shown him our food
roaster before, though, I didn’t expect him to cram it.
“What is the colour of the cloth I am wearing” I asked fully sure
he won’t get it.
“I know you love pink, but you won’t wear it to sleep. you are
certainly wearing a black vest” he replied. He got it and I was
surprised.
“Okay, a friend of mine is sleeping beside me, who is she?” I
asked
“She can be any of Janet, Sandra or Linda, but I guess she is
Sandra”
He got that too.
“Did I miss any of your questions?” He asked
“No” I replied.
“Then let me ask one myself too” he said
“I am listening” I replied
“What did I eat last night?” He asked.
I knew I have no idea.
“Bread and egg” I gambled.
“Can you trust me my loving angel? You missed it”
“So what is it?”
“Bean porridge” He replied “Should I asked another question?” He
continued.
“No need” I answered
“So can you see that you don’t take me as important as I take
you?” He said
“No, I take you very, very important”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes”
“Then tell me you love me” he demanded
“I want to sleep, I will tell you seven times and I will terminate the
call” I replied
“Make it twelve” he said
“Okay, do you have any other thing to say?” I asked
“No” he replied
“Okay, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I
love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I
love you.” I said and terminated the call.
Sandra promised to teach me the trick to date boys without
having sex with them, but none of those tricks worked for Floyd,
perhaps because I was deeply in love with him. I believed sex is
one of those ways to show my love for him. He has satisfied me
with everything I wanted, and I did not see any harm in giving
him his own satisfaction too. Besides, my friends have told me
how exciting and pleasurable love making could be and I was
very eager to experience it. Also I felt my virginity should be
broken by a man who I truly love and that is no other person but
Floyd. Truly, I loved Floyd.
He stared deeply at me, I wasn’t sure what he was looking at in
me.
“What is the problem?” I asked.
“There is no problem. I am looking at your beauty” he replied. He
moved close to me and lifted me up.
“I love you” he whispered. He held my two hands and started
kissing me. I stuck closer to him. He ran his fingers through my
body, I felt a burning sensation through the whole of my body.
Then he carried me and put me on the bed. I knew what was
coming, but I did not put any resistance. That was the experience
I had longed for. That was the day I had been waiting for. The day
somebody will turn me to a woman. Somebody I love, somebody
like Floyd.
But that was the greatest mistake of my life. He did it, though I
enjoyed it but immediately a had a feeling of guilt. It appeared to
me something in me was lost. Something I have power to keep.
An irreparable damage has been done and immediately, I started
weeping. Floyd could not understand the reason I cried. He felt it
was pains.
But that was not the major harm done, what followed was
pathetic and unfortunate. Few weeks after, I realised I was
pregnant!
I told Sandra and she was shocked.
“Katty, this is a serious problem” she said. But I didn’t see it as
serious for I had always believed in Floyd.
“Why? I had not told Floyd” I said.
“Ehen, if you tell him nko, what did you think he will do?”
“I don’t know, but I am sure he will come up with a solution” I
replied.
“Is there any other solution than abortion?” Sandra asked, but
when she realised I was relaxed myself she tried to change the
topic.
“I have a news for you, but it is not a good one” I told Floyd as he
was about to enter his room.
“What is the news? Should I guess? He asked”
“Yes, you said you know a lot about me, now tell me what has
happened to me” I asked.
He suddenly looked serious “What has happened to you or what
did you say? Has anything happened to you”
“Yes, if you know me very well tell me what has happened to me”
I asked again
“I don’t think I am getting you right Kate, just don’t tell me you
are pregnant”
“You are exceptional Floyd, now I know you always see me when
you close your eyes and that is exactly what happened”
“Stop kidding baby, you better tell me your mission here, you
don’t use to visiting me around this time”
I was surprised.
“But I am serious Floyd” I said
“You are serious about what?”
“That I am pregnant”
“What nonsense are you telling me?” Floyd replied
“You are the one telling nonsense. Are you not the one
responsible for the pregnancy? I asked angrily.
“You are a fool. So you didn’t ask your friends how they do it
before you started doing it. How many of them do you see
carrying stupid pregnancy about. I thought you are matured as
you claimed to be. I don’t know you are a rummy dummy”.
Then he put his hand in his pocket and took out some amount of
money.
“Take and go wash away your unfortunate first born” he said and
started going.
I looked at him surprisingly. I started crying.
That was the beginning of my agony. What followed was
unbelievable . I will tell you tomorrow but don’t weep for me.
